Office Antics

I LOVE my job, and I can honestly say there is never a dull day in my office. Here are a few one-liners from my boss, Randy, that I think anyone would find humorous, whether you know him or not:

Randy to my coworker, Mun: "Mun, I almost didn't recognize you with your new hairdo. Looks like you have been electrocuted!"

Randy to his wife: "Please take your personality to your own office, people are trying to work here"

Randy to me, Neletha and our ex-coworker Courtney as he is leaving one afternoon: "Katie, Neletha, have a great night; thanks for everything. Courtney, try to actually do some work tomorrow, would you?!?!"

Randy to basically the entire office when he realized he was not informed of a sample sale we were having: "SAMPLE SALE?!? I have big customers coming in this afternoon and noone told me about a sample sale! Put all this crap up; it looks like an f-in gypsy flea market in here!"

Conversation between Randy and another business partner, Suzanna, about replacing someone at the warehouse: Randy "What happened to the other guy?" Suzanna "Well, when we hired him we thought he would do an amazing job because he went to Yale." Randy "Where did the new guy go to college?" Suzanna "Umm... just community college." Randy "Now that sounds more like our level... yeah, he will be a good fit here"

Office conversation about what Lloyd should get his wife for their 25th wedding anniversary: Nadine "Diamonds" Suzanna "A nice trip and diamonds" Randy "Get rid of her. Tell her the 25 years have been great, but its time for an upgrade"

Randy to noone in particular: "Why do we need a shirt designer when we can just go to Saks and knock all their stuff off?"

Randy and his 3 year old, Ella, when they saw a naked caveman at the Museum of Natural History: Ella "Daddy look! Daddy look! I can see his 'P'!!!" Randy "Alright, Alright, Calm down, Calm down, Ella"

Randy to Me when he heard I left work early the day before because I was sick: "Katie, I heard you bit the dust yesterday. We are going to have to start some alcohol testing around here..."